Don't give me up
by justanoutlaw
Summary: Regina and Robin do talk on the phone while he's in New York.


**This is a canon divergence to Season 4. It takes place during the 6 week time jump in between the Arendelle guests leaving and the H&V plot starting. This is based on a prompt I got on CuriousCat:  
**_**"what if we met, in another time, a different place..?"**_

_**"Then maybe things would be different... but I wouldn't change my present for anything."**_

_**"Not even for me?"**_

_**"... I don't know..."**_

_How unfair, it's just our love__  
__Found something real that's out of touch__  
__But if you'd searched the whole wide world__  
__Would you dare to let it go?_

_'Cause what about, what about angels?__  
__They will come, they will go, make us special-Birdy_

Regina had barely slept period since the original curse broke. She had learned over the years to adjust to getting by on very little. That had been very helpful when she was a mom to an infant that never seemed to stop crying. Now, that boy was sleeping soundly just up the stairs and Regina sat in the kitchen stirring her tea. Her phone sat in front of her tauntingly. He hadn't called. He wasn't going to call.

A part of her didn't blame him. She tried to put herself in his shoes several times. Regina wouldn't want to look back either, it would be too damn painful. At the same time, it fucking hurt to sit there and not hear his voice. To not know how he or Roland were doing. Hell, a part of her even wondered about Marian. She had been willing to walk away and give them a fair shot. Then everything went to hell so quickly.

Regina found her finger opening the phone and going through her contacts. She went past Emma then Gold and Henry, finally finding the name and picture that she adored so dearly. The dimples imprinted into those cheeks, being highlighted by his smile. His eyes lit up the picture and made her stomach fill with butterflies. Why did he have this affect over her? Just one look at a photograph and she was weak at the knees.

If anyone asked, it was an accident clicking the call button. She didn't mean to, she only intended to scroll down to look at the rest of the information under his contact. Even so, a moment later his name was scrawled across the screen with all of the call options. With a shaky hand, she held the phone to her hear. Each ring made her stomach sour and she debated hanging up. It was late at night. His phone was probably on silent anyway…

"Regina?"

His accented voice didn't sound tired or annoyed. It almost sounded happy, if not a little surprised. She opened her mouth to speak, but the words didn't come out.

"Regina, are you there?"

"Y…yes," she finally managed. "I um…I'm sorry. It's late."

"It's 3 in the morning. Is everything alright there?"

Theoretically, yes. The Arendelle residents were back in their kingdom. Belle had banished Gold so he couldn't harm anyone else. The town hadn't had any emergencies in weeks. Emma and David had normal work days.

Deep in her heart though, nothing was okay.

"Everything's fine," she lied. "I'm actually resuming my place as mayor. Snow will be going back to teaching. Henry is doing well."

"That's good to hear."

"How about you and Roland?"

"We're…adjusting. It's different out here."

"I can imagine." Regina had only been outside of Storybrooke a couple of times, mostly for Henry's adoption. She had never been to New York, however. Henry had described Neal's apartment for her but there were no pictures or anything. "And Marian?"

"She's fine."

Silence. Before, they could talk for hours about any subject and it wouldn't get old. Now, it felt like they were five minutes away from discussing the weather.

Robin was the first to speak. "Why did you call, Regina?"

She swallowed. "Why didn't you?"

"I…"

"I mean, I know you're busy. You have a wife and a kid…but it's been 4 weeks!" She's starting to ramble and she doesn't even care. "I watched you walk over that line and I didn't even know if you made it safely. I just had to trust that you did."

"Regina."

"No, Robin. I know that whatever we had is gone, but you just don't do that to someone. You don't leave and not tell them how you are."

The tears were prickling her eyes. She wiped at them furiously with the backs of her hands. If she started crying then, she wasn't going to stop.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. Her breath shook at the apology. "I picked up the phone a million times. First, I was going to text but that seemed too informal. Then I wanted to call and I tried to plan out what I would say. Should I try to sound happy so you didn't worry? Should I be honest so we could talk about it? Then I asked myself…should we even be talking about it?"

Regina repeated the question in her own head. She wasn't sure she had the answer.

"Exactly," he said. "It's just confusing. Regina, I want to talk to you. I miss you every day. I wish I could just pick up the phone and tell you every single thing. But I can't. It hurts. It hurts to think that we're never going to be together. It hurts to know that we had a moment and now it's gone. And then I hate myself for thinking like that, because Marian's in the next room."

She shut her eyes. Robin was a man of honor. He wore his code so heavily that now it was practically dragging him down.

"I feel like I'm trying to move on with my life and then a part of me is saying not to, because my heart is still with you. And I know that's not fair to anyone."

Regina bit her lip. "It's a fucked-up situation."

"No shit." She's not there, but she can see him running his fingers through his dark golden hair. "I thought not talking to you would make things easier."

"Did it?"

"No."

Regina moved her finger around the rim of the mug. Her tea was cold by now, not that she could stomach it anyway.

"I think about that night in the tavern a lot," Regina whispered. "If I had just walked in…how different life would be."

"But then I wouldn't have Roland and you wouldn't have Henry."

"Very true and I would not change them for the world. Still something I think about. Or, what if we had met at a different place, a different time."

"Then maybe things would be different…but I wouldn't change my present for anything."

"Not even for me?" She paused. "If we could guarantee we would still have the kids?"

"... I don't know..."

It wasn't a fair question. She knew that. It was one sparked from exhaustion and heartbreak. It was also something that could never happen. Their paths were set long ago. She would run away from the tavern and they wouldn't meet for another couple of decades. They'd have a year together and that was it.

"Where do we go from here then?" Regina asked. "If we can't change the past and this is our present."

"I don't know."

Regina hurt more than she had before the call began. Maybe Robin was right. Maybe it hurt less to not talk. "I miss you so much."

"I miss you more than you'll ever realize. I wish more than anything I could come home."

"Stoyrbrooke is home?"

"You're my home."

That unleashed the floodgates. She tried to stop them, but the tears streamed down her cheeks.

"I have more questions now than I did before," Regina managed to get out. "I mean, we can't change anything."

"If there was a way, I would've worked it out by now. But you can't leave Storybrooke, and I'm stuck here."

Regina looked out the window. For years she thought that leaving Storybrooke was impossible. But with magic, was anything ever really? If she wanted to fight for Page 23, then she needed to put her money where her mouth was. Or more specifically, her magic.

"I'm not willing to give up yet, Robin," Regina said. "I want to at least try. That is, if you still do."

"Of course I do."

"Then we'll figure it out. Somehow."


End file.
